


Here Comes Your 19th Nervous Breakdown

by RachaelJurassic



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: AU because Jenny's alive, As it should be, F/M, Season/Series 06, because - well I really need to tag it lol, but it's there so I'll tag it, jenny calendar/rupert giles/anya jenkins - Freeform, very pre Jenny Calendar/Rupert Giles/Anya Jenkins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:16:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29592687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachaelJurassic/pseuds/RachaelJurassic
Summary: It's been a stressful six years on the Hellmouth for Rupert Giles. A breakdown was inevitable. At least, he was pretty sure that was what it was.
Relationships: Jenny Calendar/Rupert Giles
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Here Comes Your 19th Nervous Breakdown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Eclectic_Bookworm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Eclectic_Bookworm/gifts).



Rupert Giles was convinced he was having the breakdown that had been threatening since he arrived in Sunnydale six years earlier. He had always known it was only a matter of time, but it had sneaked up on him so gradually he’d only just noticed the pattern of symptoms. Although now he thought about it, the symptoms didn’t quite fit. The occasional elevated heart rate was a fairly standard response to adrenalin secretion. Even sudden temperature changes and sweaty palms might be explained away. But feeling a little giddy, what the hell was that?

Maybe he should talk to Jenny about it? She could usually calm him down. But he didn’t want to worry her. She was preoccupied with helping Willow and Tara patch things up, so he didn’t want to add his problems to the mix. He’d probably try some meditation this evening, or just a really long bath.

The odd thing was that he didn’t really have that much to be anxious about. The Trio were hardly as formidable as battling a god, surely he couldn’t be worried about them. But perhaps that was the problem, he didn’t have enough to worry about, so he was making things up. Yes, that sounded like him.

Rupert bent his head to his work and forced himself to think about tax returns.

Actually, it was probably the tax returns.

“Hi, Giles.”

He looked up to find Anya standing in the doorway of his office.

“Oh, did you need something?” asked Rupert.

He tried to ignore the fact that his heart rate was rising again, this was not a good time. He didn’t want to spook Anya and he wasn’t convinced she’d be half as good as Jenny at bringing him down from what felt like the start of another anxiety attack.

“I was wondering if Buffy was coming in later,” Anya asked.

“Yes, in about an hour.”

“Right, I’ll not lock the door when I leave.”

“Oh, no, that’s fine.”

Anya flashed him a radiant smile. “Big day today, I was on fire!”

“Good, good.”

“You’ll be wanting to give me a pay rise.”

He raised an eyebrow, but also found he was breaking into a smile seemingly against his will.

“Think about it,” Anya said as she turned on her heel, skirt twirling, and left him wondering why he felt a little hot, a little giddy, and……….oh my god!

Rupert stared in shock at the spot so recently vacated by the former vengeance demon. He ran over the evidence. Elevated heart rate, temperature fluctuations, sweaty palms, giddiness and, now he remembered that sometimes his stomach did that thing…that thing it did when…

Oh. My. God.

All right, he was really having a panic attack now. He tried breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, but it didn’t seem to be having any effect. He put his head in his hands, tugging at his hair, desperately trying to stop the thoughts currently whirling around his head because it couldn’t be true. Could it?

His head was spinning, and he thought he was probably going to throw up and the reason for all this was now singing as she counted the day’s takings. Also, despite the fact that he hated that song, and she was a little bit out of tune, he realised that he loved it when she sang and…FUCK!

Rupert ‘Inappropriate Boss’ Giles had fallen for his employee.

And now he felt like crying because what was he going to tell Jenny? How could he have done this to her? Was he the sort of bastard who dumped his long term, amazing, beautiful and frankly out of his league girlfriend for an amazing, beautiful and frankly out of his league younger woman…although she wasn’t actually younger, he supposed, so…but that wasn’t the point.

What was he going to do?

He’d never really considered this happening. He’d always assumed Jenny would get fed up and dump him, not the other way around. What sort of lunatic was he? She was perfect for him, everything he wanted and needed, to be honest. How the hell had that not been enough? Of course, he didn’t really want to break up with Jenny, did he? He was just confused. Yes, that was it, just confused. He just needed to focus on all the things he loved about her and everything would be all right.

Rupert grabbed his wallet and pulled out the picture of Jenny he kept tucked inside.

God she was gorgeous. The photo had been taken at the beach. She had a touch of sun burn on her cheeks and was wearing that sundress he really liked because it showed off her legs and made him think wicked thoughts - which she completely knew so she always made a point of hitching it up a little higher than necessary when she ran in the sea or got into the car or…

All right, now he was even more confused because he always felt like this when he looked at that photograph. Like his heart got a little bigger and his throat tightened, and he got just a little bit turned on. So how could he even be thinking about Anya the way he was? 

Rupert’s head hit the desk as he tried to work out exactly what kind of mental breakdown he was having and whether or not there was any hope for him when he finally figured it out.

*****

Jenny stopped in the doorway a little alarmed at what she saw.

Why was Rupert collapsed, headfirst, on his desk?

“Are you all right?”

He jerked upright, eyes wide, with the weirdest expression on his face - a mixture of desperation, fear, and guilt. Oh dear god, what had he done now?

“I guess not,” she said, trying to keep her tone light.

“No, no, I’m…I mean, e-everything’s…er…..fine.” Rupert smiled the smile of somebody who was clearly not fine.

Jenny regarded him with concern. He was stammering and he hardly ever did that these days, what could have brought this on? 

“Rupert,” she began gently, “whatever has happened you can tell me.”

“U-u-um…”

“Just breathe, darling.” 

Rupert stared at his desk in misery.

Jenny was getting seriously worried.

He shook his head as if trying to shake the words free.

“It can’t be as bad as, well, Eyghon,” she probed, “I mean, we’re not talking that level of cock up are we?”

“No,” he replied quickly. “At least…I don’t know…maybe…depends on your perspective I suppose…” his voice trailed away.

“Rupert, you’re scaring me.”

He looked up at her now, anxious and apologetic.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean….oh god.”

He put his head in his hands and Jenny wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t going to cry. So, she pulled a chair up next to him, sat, and reached out. Gently she curled her hand around one of his and coaxed it away from his head and into her lap. His other hand remained firmly clutching his head. 

“Darling,” she said, lightly stroking the inside of his wrist, “please tell me what’s wrong.”

She could almost see his thoughts calming. It never ceased to amaze her that she could still have such an effect on him after all these years. His breathing slowed a little as his shoulders relaxed, although his expression was the same; sad, eyes blinking a little too fast as he resolutely refused to look away from the desk.

“I don’t know how,” Rupert said, eventually. 

“How what? How it happened?”

“No…how to tell you.”

“Oh.”

And now she had a terrible sinking feeling in her chest because this was sounding a lot like the conversation she’d had with Harry Jenkins, her first college boyfriend, just before he’d…

“It’s all right,” she said sadly, “it’s best just to say it.” 

Jenny jumped slightly as she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.

“I’ve counted up and...” 

Both of them looked up sharply to see Anya standing in the doorway staring at them.

“Oh,” she added with an overly bright smile. “I didn’t realise you were, you know…I’ll leave you two to it.”

Her smile faltered and for a moment she looked a little wistful before she turned away. As she left Jenny admired the way her skirt moved, she really did have the most fantastic legs. And then she glanced sideways…and saw Rupert staring as well. With the kind of expression he got when he looked at her, and the tips of his ears were a little red, and suddenly it all made sense. And she realised that she was the one who was going to end up crying.

He met her eyes and then suddenly looked away. It was undeniably guilt that she saw. He’d fallen for Anya and he didn’t know how to break it to her. She didn’t exactly blame him but that didn’t make this any easier to take. She’d always rather assumed she’d be the one breaking up with him.

“It’s all right Rupert; I can see what the problem is now…It’s Anya.”

“No…I…I mean…oh god I’m sorry.”

She sighed deeply. Why wasn’t she angry? She felt like she should be angry.

“But I love you,” Rupert protested, looking desperately at her now. “I really do. You’re amazing and beautiful and far too good for me and I don’t want to leave you…” he shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

“You don’t want to leave me?”

“No, god, why would I want to leave you? You make me so happy and this morning I could never have imagined wanting anything else.”

“This morning we were arguing about who hadn’t filled the car up with gas.”

“But even then, even when I want to throttle you I couldn’t imagine…I don’t know…I’m so fucking confused.” He looked down, dejected.

But now Jenny thought things might not be as dire as she feared.

“So you say you love me? And you want to be with me?”

“Yes.”

“But you think you might also want Anya.”

“I think so,” he replied quietly.

“Well, thank fuck that’s all it is.”

Rupert looked up, startled.

“You know, you can like two people at once.”

“You can?”

“Of course.”

“But this has never happened to me before.”

“Well, it happened to me in my final year of college. Best damned time I’ve ever had…well, except for these last few years with you, obviously,” she added hastily. 

Rupert stared at her in silence.

“We should ask her,” Jenny continued.

“What?!”

“She’s been lonely since she broke up with Xander.”

“But still…”

“And I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

“She looks at me?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

“Are you sure?”

“My god you’re dense,” she laughed, “but then it took you long enough to figure out I was flirting with you so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“But…”

“But what?”

“You’re not upset?”

“Upset? No, why would I be upset?”

Rupert looked at her as if he thought she’d clearly lost her mind.

Jenny smiled. “I’ve had the hots for Anya for over a year now and you’re finally getting with the programme.” She gave him her ‘you’re an idiot but I love you’ look. “It’s been kinda frustrating to be honest.”

Rupert gaped. It was rather an amusing look on him.

“We should have her round for dinner,” Jenny added.

“Er…”

“See how she feels.” 

“How she feels?” His voice came out as a bit of a squeak. 

“Rupert, she’s been around over a thousand years, I’m fairly sure this isn’t going to shock her.”

“Well, it’s shocking me!”

Jenny laughed quietly.

“I can see that darling.”

“But she’s my employee!” 

“Well, yes, that is a bit…” And then a thought struck her. “Why don’t you make her a partner?”

“A partner?” 

“You said you were thinking about it the other day. That she’d been so good for the business and that you’d be able to step down a bit and devote more time to Buffy and, well, actually having a life.”

“Won’t that sound like bribery?”

“Well, I suggest we ask her how she feels first and _then_ you tell her about the promotion.” 

“You mean the _really_ good news.” Rupert laughed. Then he sobered up and looked deeply into Jenny’s eyes.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked. “This is going to change everything.”

“Not everything, I’m still going to love you from your greying temples to the tips of your toes.”

Rupert shot an unamused expression her way.

“You did say you still loved me.” Jenny flashed him her most winning smile.

“Of course, like crazy.”

“So, maybe this can just make everything better than we ever thought it could get.”

“Or maybe it could screw everything up,” he countered glumly.

“Rupert, you didn’t seem too happy when I walked in just now, isn’t it worth a gamble?”

He swallowed loudly. Rupert was not a risk taker, he liked plans and preparation and all outcomes plotted on graphs. 

“Trust me,” she said. 

Rupert was silent for a moment.

“Do you think she’ll say yes?”

And was that hope she heard in his voice?

“I think she might.”

He took a deep breath.

“I’m not really sure that I can handle both of you.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can. Besides, I have two hands, I’m sure I’ll be able to help. I did mention that I think she’s hot, right?” Jenny smiled her most provocative smile.

“Oh, for god’s sake, I didn’t mean in bed! Although come to think of it…no, stop it! I meant, I can hardly manage one outspoken pain in the arse, how will I deal with two of you.”

“I promise to try to be kind.”

“Hmm.”

“If you promise not to be pedantic and overly fussy about how to stack a dishwasher.”

“Is this you being kind?”

Jenny’s faced cracked into a smile as she leaned forward and brushed his lips with hers.

“That’s as good as it gets.”

Rupert was trying hard to look annoyed but was clearly struggling to keep from smiling.

“And this will make you happy too?” he asked, kissing her in return.

“Ecstatic.”

“I suppose it might work,” he mumbled as he deepened the kiss.

“Only one way to find out.”

“Mmmm.”

They’d ask Anya for dinner tomorrow. Right now, Jenny wanted to enjoy making out with her wonderful boyfriend who was just about to take a giant leap into the unknown. And if that wasn’t love she didn’t know what was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta RdC :)


End file.
